Good news! 2025 will be full of AI!Here’s to the year of letting AI do everything for us!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/12/27/ai-new-year-predictions/Artificial intelligence and the year 2025: two things that are being inflicted on us whether we want them or not!
Some people are grumpy about how AI seems to be everywhere. “Let it stick to identifying cancer cells, and leave us alone,” they grumble. But not I! I, for one, am excited to be relieved of the burden of doing things myself.
Here are just a few of the frustrating, painful tasks that AI is going to take care of for us in the coming year, freeing us to spend more time on what really matters.
Write Letters to Your Favorite Athletes and Other Icons:
AI will handle this. It’ll make certain that your letters are now full of thrilling typos and confident but incorrect pronouncements about how many R’s are in “strawberry.” People hate to hear from others, so this will save both you and your favorite athlete precious time — which she can spend practicing and you can spend increasing your social isolation! This will give you more time to read.
Read:
Actually, why read? AI will summarize things for you! Much easier than reading, and a good way to prevent new thoughts from getting into your head, which could be dangerous and lead to discontent with the present state of the world. Plus, think of the time you’ll save — time you can spend dating and getting to know people.
Date and Get to Know People:
Even better news! Dating apps will soon be incorporating AI into their interfaces, helping you become known and beloved for witty ripostes that you did not write! Don’t worry, this worked out well for everyone in “Cyrano de Bergerac,” and I can’t imagine it going worse for you. Plus, your new significant other will probably be using AI as well. This will add a delightful element of surprise to your relationship, because each time you meet in person it’ll feel like you hardly know each other! Have things in common? Who knows! What matters is that you stay together for your respective AI’s. (If this makes you feel glum, don’t worry. You can make art about it.)
Make Art:
Why bother making art, though? Stick it, prehistoric cave painters! Art is not a primal urge of the human soul — you should feel ashamed for even typing a sentence like that. It is something to be automated away. Are your drawings less than perfect? Unable to make your sketches match what is in your head? Just delegate it to AI. That won’t quite look how you wanted either, but at least you won’t get better at making art in the process. Plus, this buys you more time to create value for your employer.
Create Value for Your Employer:
Uh oh! Your employer went to a conference where somebody said that AI was the future, and now she refuses to stop incorporating it into everything, whether people want it or not. Now she is training AI to do your job! Oh well, in your unemployment, you will be able to message your friends!
Message Your Friends:
On third thought, why waste time communicating with other useless bags of meat? Let AI take care of this. Trying to respond to your friend’s newly posted photos of her baby? AI will free you from the onerous burden of having to say how chubby those cheeks are or how great that smile is. You can rest assured that it will leave a much more productive comment like, “Not enough fingers!” Now, use the extra time to bone up on your knowledge of trivia!
Learn Trivia:
Unfortunately, any time you ask a smart device a question about anything, you can’t assume it won’t give you a response tainted with AI hallucinations! We can no longer know for sure if Canada even exists, and this uncertainty is kind of stressful! Hope the stress doesn’t cause you to have any medical emergencies that send you running to Google in search of an answer.
Have a Medical Emergency That Causes You to Google Something:
Uh oh! You’re having a medical emergency and Googled something, and AI included in its summary of the results something that is medically unsafe and you should not do! Well, at least you got to enjoy all the good parts of being alive.
All the Good Parts of Being Alive:
AI will handle this.
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