The World Might Not Be Ready For A Ranking Of 11 Famous Dicks, But I Made It AnywayThough the Statue of David stands tall and erect, his package is what kids today would call a "short king." Nevertheless, his majestic d*ck is truly unmatched, because Michelangelo knew how to expertly handle a tool.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/alicelahoda/famous-dicks-rankedFrom penises to Richards, many Dicks have popped up on BuzzFeed over the years. But I recently noticed a hole in BuzzFeed's Dick Content™ that's yet to be filled: we need an Official Dick Ranking!! That's where I come in.
by Alice Lahoda
BuzzFeed Staff
Phallus impudicus, or "nature's dick"
Phallus impudicus is often known as the "common stinkhorn" mushroom, or (as I like to call it) nature's dick. Uncut, erect, and girthy, these phalluses mostly live in wooded areas. Just a head's up — nature's dicks sometimes pop up where they're not wanted. Typical.
Moby Dick
Moby Dick is the famous white whale at the heart of Moby Dick by Herman Melville. To summarize the plot: Moby Dick hurt Captain Ahab. Instead of prioritizing his own healing journey, Ahab chose vengeance.
Eventually, Dick drove the captain mad, and Ahab perished in his pursuit of the Dick that got away. It's a cautionary tale for Dick lovers the world over: even the largest Dick on earth isn't worth dying for.
Moby Dick 1956 Trailer | Gregory Peck
Moby Dick (1956) Original Trailer [FHD]
Moby Dick (2010) Trailer
Dick Tracy
Dick Tracy is a police detective from a comic strip. The thing I love about this comic is that I can just reach for Dick whenever I'm in the mood — sometimes a Dick in the hand is worth two in the bush!
I would've ranked Dick Tracy higher on this list if he was a P.I. instead of a police detective because there's nothing better than a private Dick.
Dick Tracy (1990) - Original Theatrical Trailer
DICK TRACY Trailer (1990) Warren Beatty | Madonna
The Statue of David's dick
Though Michelangelo's Statue of David stands tall and erect, his package is what some kids might call a "short king." Nevertheless, David's sculpted dick is truly unmatched, because Michelangelo knew how to expertly handle a tool.
Florence, Italy: Michelangelo's David - Rick Steves’ Europe Travel Guide - Travel Bite
Michelangelo's David: Great Art Explained
Michelangelo’s David is More Impressive Than You Think
Weekend Update: Michelangelo's David Defends Art - SNL
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